Losing my baggage

I'm going on a trip.  It's been a long, long time since I've been in one.  I got everything planned out -- I'll play in the sea, sit by the beach drinking a mango shake while waiting for the sun to set.  I'll probably play frisbee or beach football if anyone will ask me to join them.  I'll have fun, make friends, just be happy.  But I can't board the plane until someone steals my baggage.  Because the things in my baggage are things I should not bring to where I planned to go.  They are too heavy.

I hope someone steals my baggage and then I will be free.

Random Question on Love and Hurt

They say that only the people you love can hurt you. Now my question is would you hurt someone you love? Well if your answer is no then if someone hurts you then that person does not love you. Right? So why love someone who does not love you back and hurts you at the same time? Not only is it a waste of time but you might be losing the opportunity to love someone who loves you as you deserve to be loved and treat you like you are the most valuable person in this world.

While My Roommate Snores

It's 1:42am on my watch and my roommate is sleeping so soundly I won't be surprised if they can hear her snore in the street. But this is not about how I envy her deep sleep. This is about things some people write about when they just want to talk and hopefully the right people will listen. I've been meaning to write again but i never found the time. Nor the motivation to do so even though my thoughts have been pushing against my brain walls clamoring to be let out. So for sanity's sake, i decided to put off sleep for just a few more moments while i let my mind speak out.

It's been a long 26 years. Truthfully, i don't know if i've accomplished anything worth telling my sisters' grandkids. I'll probably be the lola who tells them how to keep themselves amused while at home. I'll tell them the jokes between my family especially the ones about their grandmas. I'll tell them that they will make choices in their lives that they should ponder on while they are still young. About family, friendship, career, education, life in general. I'll tell them about not forgetting the good part of you when you are young just because you got old. That even if you are not the cool kid in school should you feel left out. That even if you're not rich should you be intimidated by the rich. That even if you are poor, or weak, or bullied should you give up on life. I'll tell my sisters' grandkids that they always have a choice. Even if they see only one solution, they still have two choices: to do or not to do it. Your actions should not be what society dictates. It should be for the good of people-- yourself, your family, your friends. I'll tell them not to listen to people when they say "grow up!". Do not lose the kid in you because only a kid can forgive their parents when the old ones hurt them. Do not lose the innocence and the love. Someday, you will meet people who will hurt you. People who will love you. You'll make friends and grow apart. But do not worry. When you lose someone, think about what my good friend once told me: that maybe we lose some people in our lives because their part in our life story is done. Move one but never forget those who once loved you. Remember and hold on to people who still do. Do not push people away. And never ever hurt your family because of something petty.

I will tell my sisters' grandkids all these and more. Then i will hug them and sing them songs from my childhood. Songs my mom sang to us while we slept. Songs i sang to their mothers and fathers while they slept. And songs that i hope they will also sing to their children, and their grandchildren when i am no longer able.

But i am 26 and my niece is just 3 months old. I might not see her grow old and have children. Or i might. Who knows? I am 26 and my mind and body is tired. The ramblings of a stressed soul. It's 2:02am already. I think i better go to sleep.

Pasko na pala?

Habang tumatagal, mas hindi ko na nadarama ang Pasko.  Am I turning into a Scrooge?  Hindi naman sana.  But I don't mind being visited by the three ghosts of time.  Maybe that is what i need.  A wake up call.

Or it might be just the weather.

Or the fact na next year due ang maraming papers and reports and mid-terms pa.

Hay ewan.

Sana 5pm na.

Dreams and Reality

Have you ever had a dream that you wish, upon waking up, that you can go back to and continue? I do. I have several. And although i can't remember the details, the feeling stays with me. They are not always happy dreams but they made me feel alive, even in my sleeping status. The emotions, though not real, lingers and make me yearn. If only some dreams can turn into reality. But maybe that's why they're just dreams... Because some things are just not meant to be, or shouldn't be.

Move On but Never Forget

Remember the cliche about forgetting so you can move on?  I realized that we shouldn't really forget our mistakes because if we do, we might end up doing it again.  Remembering our failures and shortcomings, I believe, would help us move on and be better.  Doing so will keep us on our toes.  Sometimes we need a constant reminder on why we are trying to do better, why we are trying to make ourselves better.  So when you find yourself remembering a negative past, maybe it's your mind's way of saying "Hey, remember when you did this?".  Pause for a while and reflect on where you are now.  Maybe in trying to forget the bad, you also forgot why you're trying to do good.

Why can't we get along?

I read an interview (I forgot what online article it was) of Maggie Q where she talked about her relationship with her on-screen love team Shane West and what struck me was she said something about being lucky that she's such good friends with West that it was fun working with him on the set.  She added that it was because she's not always that lucky with her partners.  It never entered my mind before to ask if cast members (i.e. tv series, movies) actually do get along with each other.  So now I am bothered with my discovery that the two main characters in one of the tv series that I love is not following each other on twitter.  It is sad because it's going to be their fifth season this year and I do love them both on tv.  I just wish that they're friends and there's a good and positive reason why they are not friends online.

On second thought, you don't always have to like your colleagues, right?  Preferably you should get along but then, i don't know. -_-