It takes time

Moving on.
It takes time.
I am happy today because I realized that I'm over some hang-ups. It took awhile but still.
I'm over and I love it.
Soon I hope every sad memory will come to pass and I can have a brighter view of the future with less baggage.
Lighter, brighter, happier.

A quote on loving forever

"Because we never stop silently loving those who we once loved out loud." - Oriah

Time to say goodbye*

"Baby patay na si Ken..."

I heard my younger sister say to her boyfriend over the phone.

I was lying in my bed, woken up just in time to hear the bad news. I feigned sleep while I listened to her recount the story.

I listened and I felt my heart.  Nothing.  Then I understood my defense mechanism.  Blocking the painful thoughts.

"OK sige go back to sleep.  I will eat then clean the bathroom."

She put down the phone and I took a peek.  She lay there on her stomach with an iPod on her left hand.  I decided to check the time on my cellphone.  She saw me awake and sat down on my bed.

"Patay na si Ken."  I sat up and gave her a hug.  She told me what happened.

I laid back in my bed and I felt a single tear roll down my left cheek.

The verse I'd like to sing on my deathbed

"Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace."

- 5th verse, Amazing Grace

I like the song Amazing Grace.  I discovered just 20 minutes ago that the version we sang during a concert and the one of Susan Boyle's is lacking.  The verse above is the 5th verse.  The words are by John Newton published in 1779.